Quatre: *walks up behind Heero, wrapping his arms around him and leaning his face against the his shoulder*
Heero: *leans back into Quatre, not surprised, having heard him coming* Just took my painkillers, my head hurts. *sighs softly*
Quatre: How bad is it? *hugs him a bit tighter and closes his eyes with a soft sigh*
Heero: Not too bad. *turns his head to press a kiss to Quatre's forehead* Not as bad as some, that is.
Quatre: Is that why you were so quiet yesterday and today? *opens his eyes again and looks up at Heero*
Heero: Mm, started yesterday but it wasn't so bad then. Thought I could get away with not taking my painkillers, obviously not. *turns and wraps his arms round Quatre, kissing him softly on the forehead again*
Quatre: *gently pokes Heero in the chest* You know you're supposed to take them. *cuddles a bit closer to Heero*
Heero: *tightens his arms a little* Yeah, but I didn't want to worry you. And it makes me feel more helpless, to rely on them so.
Quatre: I worry more when you don't take them *toys with a loose thread on Heero's shirt* because I know you have a headache and I know you could be feeling better if you'd take them.
Heero: *sighs, hiding his face against Quatre's hair, then speaks a little more bitterly than he intended* And how long will they work? How long - *voice cracks and then he cuts off, not saying anymore*
Quatre: Heero...*fists his hand in Heero's shirt* What do you mean? You're not gone yet, you can't....
Heero: *sighs softly, still hiding his face* How long before... this thing does... kill me? How long... do we have? *tightens his grip on Quatre and sighs* I'm sorry, I shouldn't say it.
Quatre: No, no, say it. *loosens his grip a little* If you've got your doubts or anything's on your mind...you can tell me. *wraps his arms around Heero's neck instead*
Heero: *sighs again, twitching slightly with a stab of pain in his head* I'm... not used to my own body letting me down... I wouldn't mind if I died in war, but not like this. *shuts his eyes tightly*
Quatre: *takes a step back, wanting to lead Heero to the nearby couch* I know it's more, much more than just this, but...isn't it human to not always be in control of your body?
Heero: Then I wasn't human during the war, was I? *sighs, following Quatre, not sitting down when Quatre does but sitting on the floor, leaning his face into Quatre's lap for comfort* During the war, I... took orders, but I always controlled what I did. I'm... not used to not doing that. Quatre - this is like.... I don't know. Anyone else would probably handle it so much better than me.
Quatre: *runs his fingers through Heero's hair, speaking quietly* Could you afford to be human? Someone else wouldn't be handling this better, Heero, you don't ask for pity, you're still going, you haven't given up, you're just about the strongest person I know.
Heero: *hides his face in Quatre's lap, tears coming to his eyes though he's refusing to cry* I can't stop thinking about it, though, when I'm with you I... *chokes on his words and goes silent again*
Quatre: What? What is it? *slips off the couch and onto the floor as well, wrapping his arms tightly around Heero*
Heero: *shudders slightly, still refusing to cry, unable to find the words*
Quatre: *presses his lips to Heero's temple and holds him tightly, worried, but waiting patiently until he's ready to say what's on his mind*
Heero: *speaks very softly, controlling himself with an effort* Even when I spend time with you, I wonder how much more of that time I have.
Quatre: *stays quiet for a few seconds more, trying to make sense of what he's feeling at Heero's words* I've wondered about the same thing...Decided that I should just make every moment with you so special that it didn't matter anymore.
Heero: *buries his face against Quatre's shoulder and really starts to cry, still trying to hide it, but his shoulders shake too much*
Quatre: *closes his eyes and holds Heero tightly, trying to not give in to his own tears and running his hands through Heero's hair and up and down his back*
Heero: *raises his head, leaning his forehead against Quatre's, smiling despite his tears* You know... you're always going to be mine, even if I do die and you end up loving and marrying someone else. *kisses him softly*
Quatre: *kisses him back and answers in a near whisper* I couldn't, I don't want to, I'm yours, nobody else's.
Heero: *just as softly* If... I died in a year or so... I don't want you to be alone for the rest of your life.
Quatre: I, I dont...*swallows and shakes his head* I'll have you, I'll always have you. *crawls closer to Heero, almost in his lap*
Heero: *sits back, pulling Quatre as close as possible and closing his eyes, his cheeks still wet with tears, his hands rubbing soothing circles on Quatre's back* Yes, you will.
Quatre: *leans his head against Heero's shoulders, placing one of his hands flat on Heero's chest* I don't want to have to move on.
Heero: I don't want you to have to, I love you. *brings a hand up, placing it over Quatre's, curling his fingers round Quatre's hand* You deserve better than someone who is going to die, you know. *smoothes his thumb over Quatre's hand gently* I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to put up with it.
Quatre: *looks up at Heero, eyes brimming with tears, but fierce still* No, I don't. When are you going to get it into your head that I don't deserve, nor want, anybody other than you? I made a promise when I said I do and I intend to keep it. *leans up and kisses Heero almost desperatly*
Heero: *smiles slightly, bringing up his other hand to cup Quatre's cheek gently, tracing his cheekbone with his thumb and kissing him back gently* I know, I know. It's just... you _should_ have someone you know you can spend the rest of your life with, not someone who might die in the next few years. You've earned that much, at least. *sighs softly*
Quatre: I don't want to. *shakes his head again, tears finally spilling down his cheeks* I'm yours, I don't want to move on or be with anyone else.
Heero: *kisses Quatre again softly, comfortingly, curling his hand tighter round Quatre's and lowering the other arm to wrap around his waist* It's okay, I'm not going to die anytime soon if I can help it. *voice soft, but determined*
Quatre: *drapes his legs across Heero's and lays his head on his shoulder again* I'll be right by your side all along. *squeezes Heero's hand*
Heero: *kisses Quatre's forehead again, holding him tighter* I know, and thank you. *smiles slightly, releasing the hand holding Quatre's and trailing it along Quatre's arm, still comforting* I love you.
Quatre: *smiles softly and places a tiny kiss on the side of Heero's neck* I love you too.
Heero: *sits holding Quatre quietly for a while, able to ignore the still sharp pains in his head for the time being, until one particularly nasty jolt of pain makes him catch his breath* *hopes Quatre didn't hear, as he doesn't really want to move yet*
Quatre: *wraps his arms around Heero's neck, holding him tightly and whispering, as if afraid to break the mood* Want your painkillers?
Heero: *replies softly, closing his eyes* Already had some, better have another dose and then get to bed before they knock me out. *sighs softly, dropping a kiss on Quatre's jaw* Thank you for being so patient with me.
Quatre: *smiles again, tilting his head and kisses Heero on the lips* Anytime. *reluctantly pulls away and starts to get up* Bed, then?
Heero: *nods slightly, standing up slowly* Yeah, bedtime.
Quatre: *takes both of Heero's hands in his and leans in for a soft kiss* Bedtime.
Heero: For me, at least. Those painkillers send even me to sleep. *smiles and kisses Quatre back, then pulls away regretfully, heading for the bedroom, painkillers and bed*
Quatre: *follows him to their room, feeling a bit tired after all the emotions they went through and not wanting to be alone*
Heero: *takes his painkillers and strips off for bed, cuddling into the covers, leaning on one elbow to watch Quatre till he's ready too*
Quatre: *strips quickly and slips under the covers, molding himself to Heero's side, nearly wrapping around him*
Heero: *wraps his arms around Quatre and closes his eyes, already sleepy*